Rindu bertandang lagi... kekasih

got this in my email. wa 'hujan' dan² abih baca. seriously.

Orang kata aku lahir dari perut ibu..
Bila dahaga, yang susukan aku.. ibu
Bila lapar, yang suapkan aku..ibu
Bila keseorangan, yang sentiasa di sampingku.. ibu
Kata ibu, perkataan pertama yang aku sebut.. Ma!
Bila bangun tidur, aku cari.. ibu
Bila nangis, orang pertama yang datang ..ibu
Bila nak bermanja.. aku dekati ibu
Bila nak bergesel... aku duduk sebelah ibu
Bila sedih, yang boleh memujukku hanya ibu
Bila nakal, yang memarahi aku ...ibu
Bila merajuk... yang memujukku cuma..ibu
Bila melakukan kesalahan... yang paling cepat marah..ibu
Bila takut... yang tenangkan aku.. ibu
Bila nak peluk... yang aku suka peluk..ibu

Aku selalu teringatkan ..Ibu
Bila sedih, aku mesti talipon... Ibu
Bila seronok... orang pertama aku nak beritahu...Ibu
Bila bengang.. aku suka luah pada ..Ibu
Bila takut, aku selalu panggil.. "ibuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"
Bila sakit, orang paling risau adalah ..Ibu
Bila nak exam, orang paling sibuk juga Ibu
Bila buat hal, yang marah aku dulu..Ibu
Bila ada masalah, yang paling risau.. Ibu
Yang masih peluk dan cium aku sampai hari ni.. Ibu
Yang selalu masak makanan kegemaranku.. Ibu
Yang selalu simpan dan kemaskan barang-barang aku, Ibu
Yang selalu berleter kat aku.. Ibu
Yang selalu puji aku.. Ibu
Yang selalu nasihat aku.. Ibu
Bila nak kahwin..
Orang pertama aku tunjuk dan rujuk... Ibu

Aku ada pasangan hidup sendiri
Bila seronok... aku cari pasanganku
Bila sedih... aku cari Ibu
Bila berjaya... aku ceritakan pada pasanganku
Bila gagal... aku ceritakan pada Ibu
Bila bahagia, aku peluk erat pasanganku
Bila berduka, aku peluk erat Ibuku
Bila nak bercuti... aku bawa pasanganku
Bila sibuk... aku hantar anak ke rumah Ibu
Bila sambut valentine.. Aku hadiahi bunga pada pasanganku
Bila sambut hari ibu...aku cuma dapat ucapkan Selamat Hari Ibu
Selalu ..... aku ingat pasanganku
Selalu... Ibu ingat kat aku
Bila..bila... aku akan talipon pasanganku
Entah bila.. ...aku nak talipon Ibu
Selalu ...aku belikan hadiah untuk pasanganku
Entah bila... aku nak belikan hadiah untuk Ibuku

Renungkan:
"Kalau kau sudah habis belajar dan berkerja... bolehkah kau kirim wang untuk Ibu? Ibu bukan nak banyak... lima puluh ringgit sebulan pun cukuplah". Berderai air mata aku. Hari ini kalau Ibu mahu lima ratus sebulan pun aku mampu. Aku boleh kirimkan. Tapi ANDAI Ibu sudah tiada. Aku tidak berkesempatan lagi.. bukan lima puluh ringgit.. lima puluh sen pun tidak sempat aku kirimkan! Hanya yang termampu Alfatihah, alfatihah,alfatihah.

sob sob sreh!

Kudik-kudik!

coih! ade sarang labah² kat blog wa. nampak? siapa tak nampak, tanda tak lama la tu. nyeh nyeh! korang ni kan, imaginasi tak tinggi. pi bace novel banyak². pastu masuk sini semula. tengok, nampak ke tak sarang labah² yang wa kata tu. ngee :D

nak cerita pasal raya. nak cerita pasal CD² yang wa beli. nak cerita pasal dinner raya. nak cerita pasal aide. nak cerita pasal wayang. nak cerita ceriti ceritu. tapi next post la. mode malas: activated. shoo labah², shoo!

Rasa ini ingin ku akui [Version 2.0]

memang tak sedar. ramadhan dah ujung. masa mula dulu pon, cam, eh bulan puasa daa. makin akhir zaman, makin tak rasa masa beredar. peh. ayat buku lagi.

skang ni excited dengar lagu raya. pada wa, kali ni terasa sangat raya nye. biasa kan, seminggu belum raya wa dah ade kat umah. la ni, nak buat kuih raya pon curi masa weekend yang sejemput tu je. bab kemas umah lagi la. silap² tak sempat pon. tu yang sekali layan "Dendang Perantau" ke, "Ku Pohon Restu Ayah Bonda" ke, rasa nak nangis dan² tu jugak. bleh?

biasa, 1-2 bulan sebelum puasa mak ajak cari kain. tak pon mak bawak balik, suh wa pilih je mane nak. tempah buat baju raya. skang, cari baju siap. sendiri. tiada perasaan. padahal Jamek - Jalan TAR tu dah jadi 'taman permainan' wa je skang.

kebetulan ade sehelai baju beli ngan mak awal tahun dulu. tak berpakai lancung². so jadi la baju raya.

dan yang luar biasa raya kali ni: kami raya 2 famili sekali. like, 3 generations under one roof! how's that!! me likey. 'is cannot' wait. heh.

Duhai bonda duhai ayahanda
Dengarlah rayuan anakanda
Yang jauh di mata

Tanpa ku sedari airmata ku mengalir
Terdengar ayat suci seruan takbir
Betapa daku gembira dekat di samping keluarga
Di pagi mulia hari raya

Kan ku sujud di kakimu bila kita bertemu
Kan ku cium tangan mu ku pohon restu
Oh maafkan daku kesalahan diri ku

Walau jauh di mata namun kau tak dapat ku lupa
Doa ku sepanjang masa agar kau bahagia
Ku pohon restu dari mu oh ayah dan ibu
Agar tercapai cita ku membela nasib mu

Rasa ini ingin ku akui

frustrated! 2 kali plak tu. coih!

citer best dulu. sabtu, our (fiscal) majlis berbuka puasa. just 9 of us. supposedly 10, mizan wasn't feeling well to go along. anyways, left office after Asar. bebudak ni beratur beli tiket punye la lama. patah balik umah maRk dulu amik purse (she'd been one of PATI since morning). heh. rempit pi Kampung Baru yang sekangkang kera dari Keramat.

Chop and Steak. table for 10: reserved to MAZUIN. muahahaha. MAZWIN la bang. marah maRk orang tu eja nama dia salah. cam biasa la, mane je wa join, memang group kami buat tempat tu macam kami yang punye. sampai baru 6pm kan. ape lagi. siap je order (4 chicken chops, 1 sizzling chicken, 1 grilled chicken, 1 yeemee seafood, 2 beef steaks), kami mem-fotogediks.

yang best tu, tanpa dirancang, most of us were wearing black tudung (except for kak mas, kak ros and tiah - whiteys). so, dari dalam tren lagi orang pandang² jeling². meriah! meja sebelah anak² teruna yang, wa rasa agak segan dengan kami. diorang kelihatan sangat jujur. kami antara yang 1st peka dengar azan kan. lapar. kami jugak je la yang jujur baca doa dulu kan. anak² ikan pon turut tadah. nyeh nyeh! tapi baca diorang² la kan. makan pon baik je. bukan macam meja sebelah dalam.

ha yang meja sebelah dalam ni, wa rasa menu berbuka diorang - air segelas dan rokok. dah tu buat pe la membazir buka kat kedai. dah la tu, siap bleh bangun, bising. menci la sungguh.

selesai mentekedarah + mem-fotogediks berkali², maRk setel kan bil. pastu bleh bukak meja ceti kutip hutang. TENGAH² ORANG RAMAI TU. adoi. semua orang sengih² tengok. suke ati la. kami bukan makan duit korang, kan.

baliks - 2 keta, mine and kechik's. kechik's: kak bis, kak ros, atie, kak isma. wa's: maRk, kak mas, tiah. dropped tiah, then sent kak mas home to Kelana Jaya.

ha nak start citer "frust" plak. al kisah nye pi la IKEA. saje. dah lame usha rak cd ni. biasa je, tapi IKEA kan =P hitam plak tu. wa siap berangan. next week balik Raub, pasang rak cd, susun cd, beraya dengan rak baru. peh. kemain berangan. tup tup amik kat ruang ala² warehouse dia tu, baru perasan jadah haram tu lagi panjang pada cik keli wa. isk. masa kat showroom tak perasan plak.

seriously. wa rasa nak nangis dan² tu. patah hati siot. rasa cam, kecik hati ngan rak tu, bleh? releven? aisyooo! sebab dah berangan lancung². salah wa la kan tak tengok betul². ahh tak kira. nak kecik kan hati jugak. sob sob srehhh!

tu satu. arini pon same gak. excited je cari kedai gunting rambut kat Ampang Point. ingat nak trim sket ujung² kuku je kan. dah la semangat pi dalam ujan. "tak bleh la dik. tak sempat. kami ade 4 tukang gunting je. tu ha tengah busy". tak jadi!

memang saje tak kasi wa beli rak ngan gunting rambut la tu. kan. sigh.

takpe. at least wa dapat pink spaghetti top (pink???!) and a new cardigan. ade orang tu pinjam cardigan wa tah mane dah dihumban nye. nyeh nyeh!

dah 189 kali wa ulang lagu Padi ni. naik masak dah nak jadi beras pulak. kuangkuangBukitkuang!

Mencari sesuatu yang telah pergi

people say "patah tumbuh, hilang berganti". I choose to differ. there's time when things broken and won't mend. things lost and couldn't be found. so - "mencari sesuatu yang telah pergi" - gonna make that my MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.

ape kau merapek lagi ni setan?!

plan nya berbuka dengan orang lain, cancelled, berbuka plak dengan orang lain plak. paham? bm wa 4 je. tahan jugak reti eja PENYELENGGARAAN, pada orang yg bm 2 tapi eja 'ke laut'. kan. wa kumpul... wa kumpul.

McD's projet hiway kl-karak. seperti biasa. kami buat McD's tu cam KAMI YANG PUNYA. mua a a a a. wa rase tak mau dah tunjuk muke kat situ. bleh? isk. siap ngumpat pi Warta bangi. konon nak cari baju raya la. haram tak dapat.

biasanye mak yang beli. beli kain pasang, tempah buat. tetiba camni kan. beli baju siap ni, bukan apa, semua nampak sama. nanti pakai pi opis ke kan, sambil tunggu tren, ade minah sebelah pakai baju sejibik. camne? tu sebab wa agak fenin sket memilih. fareez kata wa cerewet. ha tu lagi satu. bukan cerewet dik, tapi memang tak berkenan lancung². corak stok yang dah ade dalam lemari. buat pe beli benda lebih kurang sama. kan.

kena pi Jalan TAR gak beb.

Oh, angin malam bawa laguku...

"Almost Easy" official video by Avenged Sevenfold: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRs9z8UfQzY

this would probably be taken down soon. copyrights thingy, you know. so I rather post only the [currently available] link to the video. so-so presentation. and Matt's mohawk kind of made him looks like Chester Bennington. WHAT THE..?!

Expect the unexpected

ape yang wa syak, btul! no komen.

ari isnin, bak kata kaklong, kami bertiga (kaklong, kakngah, wa) jadi satu opis. apesal? kami tiga² tak pi keje. mua a a a. dan kami buat plan huru-hara.

pagi kaklong msg cakap dia off. noon baru wa reply, kata wa pon off. then kakngah tanye, sebab dia pon off. later, jon plak kata dia half day je. muakakaka. sorang ke sorang. last², around 3pm wa pi jemput kaklong kat vista. then pi damansara jemput kakngah ngan fareez.

kitorang jalan² cari pasal kat midvalley. sori la fareez. awk sorang, kami bertiga. memang tak selamat la. kami pakat kena kan adik kesayangan kaklong tu, kaw² punye. kami gelak/mengenakan fareez sepanjang jalan. sampai nak muntah rasenye. heh.

got me self a novel and car sign. pusing². chow few minutes before 6pm. janji ngan carha & diera bebuka McD's kat Mutiara Damansara. full. tukar plak. pi restoran seberang - Restoran Kayu apekejadahntah. joined in by Jon and Dato. kira kami berlapan la kan.

after bebuka, celebrate kakngah's 24th birthday. kami beli chocolate cake kat JJ midvalley. then carha keluarkan Secret Recipe's Raspberry Cheesecake. bersurai, on the way pi kedai perabot, Jon stopped by a bakery nearby. satu lagi kek kopi untuk kakngah. haa makan sampai muntah.

pi tengok perabot sebagai. balik umah Jon semata nak tengok lampu raya. meriah! siap pasang lagu raya, baru ade feel raya kan. kaklong dah plan nak beli untuk pasang kat Raub. pergh! kalau ye jadi beli, memang semua duk luar umah je. akakaka.

10pm lebih² antar kaklong balik vista. on the way, kaklong cakap pasal jalan bleh terus tembus kat pandan perdana. hah. dan² tu wa TERlepas simpang biasa wa lalu. saje nak menguji kecekapan wa la kan.

iklan: pemandu yang cekap adalah pemandu yang pandai baca signboard.

nasib wa ingat ape yang kaklong baru cakap. ikut cheras, amik Loke Yew, Pandan Perdana. voila! wa dapat jalan baru.

bak kata kaklong, yang best nye, plan kami ari tu bukan la plan sebenar. cam, on the spot. havoc tapi meriah dan lancar. wa sukak! semoga kami sentiasa dapat buat benda² camni.

I'm going home

ade family besar payah, ade family kecik pon payah. bayangkan yang takde family langsung tu. punye la nak sangat ade family. kalau semua nye senang, tak plak name nye 'kehidupan' kan. takde masalah langsung. kan.

wa was about to go home (did some laundry, packed my bag) when abah called. abah: "kakngah tak jadi balik malam ni ye? awak tak payah la balik jugak. dah pukul 10 [malam] ni. balik esok la ye. kalau nak lekas, lepas subuh esok balik la. ye?". spoil la abah ni. dah wa tak jadi gerak malam ni. tsk!

bukan tak biasa balik time ni pon. tapi bile dapat arahan macam tu, dah banyak benda main dalam kepale.

ni style wa la kan. kalau ade niat nak balik (balik kampung jumpe mak abah), tak kira jam berape pon - balik! jangan fikir ape dah. tapi kalau parents tau, dan diorang kata jangan balik. takut itu, takut ini, then jangan. memang la kan, benda² nak jadi tu, Allah yang tentukan. tapi bile cakap pasal mak abah kan, dia punye 'daulat' tu kena ingat beb. heh. especially 'mak'. mulut seorang emak ni biasa nye masin. instinct ibu tu kena ikut.

wa citer pon dari pengalaman sendiri. pengalaman? jeng jeng jeng! mua a a a. tu sebab kalau wa nak tipu pon, orang kata 'white lies'. insyaAllah dijamin tak membawa sebarang musibah la kan.

malam ni tido mimpi tengah menyiput. 6kilo nak hadap sok ciot!

Bound and tied with suicidal memories

lagi 5minit nak berbuka wa per..? lagi 5minit!!!!!!? adoih. rasa nak mencarut sampai tak jumpe perkataan nak dicarut je. tensi wa siot.

kata nak buat kuih raya kan. BERJAYA! terima kasih kepada TUKANG BAKAR, TUKANG SELEK TELUR, TUKANG TENGOK, TUKANG CENGKELAT, TUKANG EXCITED. sakit belakang wa menerap 10 BANCUHAN KUIH. tu pon skit je sbenarnye kuih tu.

pada wa, kuih tu biasa. selalu je makan. tapi addictive. bawak skit pi opis. sebab masa balik last week tu, cakap kat diorang, balik awal nak buat kuih. saje la kasi diorang rasa. berebut siot! bukan la sedap, macam tak pernah rasa, kan. tapi, peanut butter. sekali makan, nak lagi. pastu amik lagi. hee :D wa sukak!

siap buat kuih tu sampai tengah malam. dah masuk ari ahad pulak dah. pergh! memang wa tak jumpe SIANG ari ahad tu. pulak tu, takde pon orang yang kejut wa suh bangun ke ape ke kan. dengan bangga nye wa tido seharian. nasib sempat bangun zuhur. tu pon dah ujung² tanduk kucing. tanduk kucing? ape makne nye tu. mua a a a a!

this weekend? kuih siput. 6 KILO! seksa bab menyiput je. kita tengok sape yang tahan menyiput sampai kesudah, sape yang tahan satu talam je, SAPE YANG JADI TUKANG GORENG JE. nyeh nyeh!

adoi. sesungut. cakit nye peyut ibu.

But now I see the sun

lets just hope it lasts this time around.

wa ordered 250bijiks of almond london. mua a a a. malas nak buat. jangan sok tak sempat raya dah khatam, sudah. perut nangoi² kat umah tu bukan bleh aci.

lapar, tapi ngantuk. ngantuk, tapi lapar.

'I Love You' - those three words are the beginning of every tragedy

have anyone seen Britney's VMAs performance? good God! she could've done better. you were opening a show, for your "kipas-susah-mati" 's sake, Britney! she was like - "umm, what am I doing here again?". she looked lost. and, EVERYBODY knows she doesn't sing live. she was miming, half-heartedly. not as always, where you could mati² percaya that she sings it herself. she should get back in shape, before thinking of wearing another 2-piece, as she did at the VMAs. in the mean time, COVER UP, biatch!

sabtu malam aritu layan Selimut Putih. Norlia Ghani ngan Rusdie Ramli. adoi. by the time it's over, I was thinking about packing up my stuff and going home to my mom. haha. tapi btul la kan. kalau Allah nak balas perbuatan kita tu cepat, dekat dunia ni dah dapat. cam dalam citer tu la. masa muda dia abaikan suami dia. dah tua, anak dia buat kat dia camtu. anak menantu dia pon, kan.

yang menambahkan sayu dihati, ecewah, wa tak balik plak minggu lepas. sabtu tu keje, balik dah petang. malas nak kejar². pastu, kalau nak balik jugak, fikir plak ahad tu nak kena balik. bulan puasa ni waktu opis diawalkan.

kalo balik dari Raub ari isnin tu, biasa wa sampai KL 7.30am. dari tol gombak tu nak ke LRT tu? jem siol. dalam LRT tu sendiri jem. ramai orang. kadang dekat sejam wa tunggu nak naik LRT je. yang ari² biasa wa buat tu, wa sentiasa sampai opis lambat. cume bile abah/mak call, wa tak cakap la. kalau diorang tau, diorang 'halau' wa ari ahad tu lagi dah =P

weekend ni wa nak balik. nak buat kuih raya. yay! orang lain tak mau terlibat? shoo! wa tak kesah wa pulun sensorang pon. jangan masuk dapur and mentanggu jiwa wa. sekarang memang stok wa buat kuih sorang². mak tak larat. cume kalau buat kuih siput tu, dia tolong la. hak tu sebeban kami buat.

wa tak kira. sempat tak sempat. kalau wa tak buat, at least SATU kuih sendiri, wa tak rasa aura raya tu.

almond london? atau biskut biasa? almond london leceh dol. kena ulang dua kali kan. masak dan salut coklat nye. coih. kuih siput? tu kuih wajib. kena pakat ngan mak.

It may seems a bit peculiar

tak sempat 3jam kita puasa, on the first day, bebudak opis dah pasang lagu raya. LAGU RAYA?!! "Sesuci... di hening subuh sunyi. Sesuci... terdengar nurani". kuang kuang kuang! skali keluar: "Siiiiapakah yang sudi.. menghuluuuuurrkan simpati.." - adoi la tuhan!

I ment to write a double post yesterday. skali skala tamak haloba kan. blog wa. who cares? I don't.

kalau ikut jam enset, exactly 7.53pm yesterday, a guy from AMS called me about the DVD. hoh! dengan sepantas kilat wa magrib, siap². abang keluar pi terawikh kat masjid. wa keluar pi 'terawikh' kat Pertama. wa la salah satu setan yang terlepas dari ikatan dibulan ramadhan. mua a a a a. coih!

wa tak kira. jem pon jem la. dah lame wa tunggu. sampai je, brader yang call wa tu sengih. brader - "cepat?". wa - "excited". he's too darn cute for me to notice his sarcasm. heh. you got my number kan bro.. ehem ehem. nyeh nyeh nyeh!

on the way balik, saje layan IKIM.fm. konon la. hamik. dan² tu wa nangis. wa suke nangis sambil drive. rase cam dalam sembilu kasih plak. ihiks! wa pon tak tau apesal wa nangis. terlalu banyak benda nak nangis, sampai masa bile nangis tu, bleh tak tau apesal nangis. camne?

entah la awak siti siput.

Don't be so DAMN easy!

...to whom it may concern. whoever yang terasa. mu a a a a.

take note people. I LOVE to spend on such unnecessary things. even when I'm on a tight budget. I have to ask my friends to remind me about it. even so, kalau wa nak - wa nak! not even I can help it.

semalam 7pm dah blah dari opis. pi Pertama. tokey cd tu dah kata. nanti dvd wa nak tu sampai, dia call la. tapi wa saje la kan. gatal nak pi jugak tanye. tokey: "sudah sampai, tapi distributor blum hantar kedai. lagi 2 hari dia hantar. I call you, OK?". tsk.

alang² dah ade dalam kedai tu kan, wa browsed thru cd kot ade yang terminat. kebetulan semalam wa serba hitam. dari kepala ke kaki. wa sorang je plak pompuan pada ketika kejadian. menjadi tumpuan la kejap. FYI, most Acoustic Music Station @ Pertama Complex-goers are metal lovers. wa? wa still in pre-metal lover-phase. heh.

back on track. as usual, wa AKAN cekau jugak cd.

selingan. mawi's doing blane-like magic. erk? bukan wa tengok ye. kak siti yang tengok. ihiks!

orait. at least wa nak jugak satu cd baru. Arch Enemy: Stigmata. yes! wa berjaya membazir lagi! congrats to moi! clap clap. d'oh!

sok puasa. selamat berpuasa kepada muslimin dan muslimat. yang duk puasa yang yang yok tu, korang nak rase naik van mayat? ke nak jadi mayat terus? tak perlu puasa, kan. kami yang pompuan ni pon, punye la nak puasa penuh sebulan. tapi dapat cuti paksa. korang yang takde masalah, kalau bleh tak nak puasa langsung. ish ish ish. insaf lah wahai teman. nyeh nyeh!

Admitting mistakes can hurt

wa dah lupe ape nak tulis. sminggu postpone. balik keje je dah ngantuk tak bleh di tolong². camne?

"keadaan", masih lagi begitu. kemungkinan besar la lama lagi camni. takpe. ade usaha, ade la kemajuan. coih. ayat buku teks.

yang best nye, dalam pada "keadaan" kami yang agak kritikal, kami masih jugak camtu. huru hara. riuh. havok. siap warning diri sendiri, "buat lawak kat umah sendiri je cukup la". heh. pada fareez, welcome to the family. jon dah jadi senior skang =P

seperti biasa, kami suke memperkotak-katek kan adik². maka di suatu malam di musim yang tak la berape lalu, kami cube memperkenalkan fareez ngan aki sbelah umah. newsflash: aki tu dah arwah. mua a a a. bleh? ni ye memang - dah jadi abu pon terbakar lagi. ngee!

dalam erti kata lain, arwah aki sbelah tu pon TER-diperkotak-katek kan sekali la. isk. mau dia 'balik' pastu tanye, "apesal korang suke usik aku, aku tak kaco korang pon!". aisyoo! ampun la aki. cannot help one.

anjing menyalak kat luar. 3.37 am! budus. wa blasah kang.

last week sempat pi kubur atok² sekalian. kaklong, kakngah, wa, ajib yang pi. dan wa yakin, arwah tok kedai ngan tok umah TAU kami datang. muekekeke.

lame dah kan. atok kedai 14 tahun, atok umah 5 tahun. 'hujan' la kejap walaupun cuaca cerah. keh keh. area kubur tu agak semak. agak? MEMANG semak la. tapi ni dekat nak puasa ni, ade la yang datang nyembur racun. clear la sket nanti. ade langsat! tapi semua segan nak amik. kang 'ade' yang marah. wahaks!

sok nak blk Raub yay! basuh² baju dulu. pastu ciao.

adoi. lapar.

aaaaacunnn nye!

lepas kenduri umah maklong ghiyot. makan - tido!

suke atok ngan nenek dapat pegang cucu liun dia.

wa sendiri tak paham.

I never meant to brag

miahamuahaha. not SE w850i. not Samsung 830x. but SE w580i. yep! and yay! after a long wait. salahkan brader kedai enpon tu sebab me-recommend-kan enpon ni. but damn... so gurly. geli I. nyehnyehnyeh!

amik ayat Along: "selamat menjadi another satisfied SE walkman user". nods. earfon gile best wa cakap lu.

rasa cam lama tak online. sejak bertukar status ni, letih. balik je tido. masa puasa nanti ntah le camne. tsk.

aide makde skang ade kat raub. 2minggu dah. agak meriah la bile suma² balik. pastu ade plak ahli tambahan kan. kupu². ya tuhannn aje la. so wa balik pon, takde la duk melepek cam biasa kan. di dapur la manjang. buat buat ape pon. membasuh pinggan hasil lantakan nangoi² sekalian. kalo stok bela jin 18 ekor sorang kan. memang tak lekang la sinki tu.

dah 2 ari wa tak buat OT. maRk mc. tadi blah kul 6. pi pertama jap. order dvd A7X. should received my copy in 2 weeks. excited!

yawn. wa dah ngantuk. camne? jumpe di alam lain.

No pleasure cruise

sekarang wa rasa bersyukur dengan cara wa dibesarkan. walaupun bukan la yang terbaik. kan. tapi, wa paham.

wa paham, ngape abah ngan mak tak manjakan kami, sampai, mintak ape nak - sume dapat. ngape kalau setakat nak beli benda yang remeh², mak ngan abah sanggup tahan, walaupun diorang teringin nak ada/memiliki benda² macam orang lain. diorang ajar tu pada kami anak². permintaan kami yang bukan², takkan dilayan. "abah, nak itu... - tak penting". "abah, nak ini... - takde gune nye ke awak". "abah, jom jalan sana... - duit nak pakai buat blanje awak sekolah". "abah... - tak payah". nak dapat satu² benda tu bukan senang.

keje. keje dalam opis. duduk ngadap pc je. bleh buat air/makan bile² nak. cume sesak nak pi/balik keje je, sebab bersesak. tapi rasa penat yang tak releven. gaji? tak la selesa, tapi sangat la senang nak dapat.

bayangkan abah yang TERANG keje bawah matahari. tepi jalan. angkat barang berat². masuk hutan. pi tempat jauh². gaji? kadang² postpone. POSTPONE!!! cam, gaji yang baru dapat tu, sebenarnye gaji 2-3 bulan lepas punye. dah la keje berat, postpone, tak seberapa plak tu.

ape mesej sebenar wa? duit. wang. ongkos nya pak. fulus. dan kepayahan nak dapat mende alah tu.

wa baru berjinak² di alam pekerjaan. tak la semudah yang disangka. kena plak ngan keje yang wa dapat. so, sekarang wa paham, kalo tak sume pon, at least wa tau letih nye mak ngan abah keje cari duit nak BAGI PADA KAMI. kami plak? spesifik nye, WA la kan. sesuka suki je beli itu ini bile dapat.

sekarang ni, takat nak beli roti/jajan pon wa fikir 8 kali. takut sok tak cukup nak buat tambang pi opis. takut tak lepas nak isi minyak keta.

wa paham dah ngapa kadang wa dengar mak abah bertekak. walaupun, wa tak puas hati sebab, bile wa/ajib ada, time tu la diorang nak bertekak sesuka suki. time ade along ngan abg, tak mau pulak. elok je. ces. tu pon, wa paham jugak. sebab memang kitorang la punca nye kan. kitorang yang masih lagi DITANGGUNG.

kira cam, along ngan abg dah ada famili sendiri pon. so diorang biar la dengan urusan diorang.

kami (wa/ajib) la yang, memang dengan niat, diingatkan berkali² - tolongggg la jimat. ala² gitu la. tapi tak releven la jugak kan. duk bertekak bertaki pepagi buta. TERANG² wa dengar tanpa sebarang halangan. elok la wa dengar. wa tau ape masalah nye. MASALAH BAGI WA plak, bile wa tau, wa fikir. pastu wa migrain. dengar SUARA ehem² duk pot pet pon dah cukup buat wa migrain. ape lagi kalo wa dengar ade bunyi benda bederai² je kan. isk

PASTU LAGI TANYE, "KAKDE SAKIT KEPALA NGAPE? ADE SALAH MAKAN SEMALAM?!".

ni stok, dah jadi abu pon terbakar jugak lagi. hanya orang² yg berkenaan je paham perumpaan tu. mua a a a

hmm ape kau merapek ni setannnn. berterabur. bercepai. lari tajuk pon ade.

ngantuk. penat. lain post plak wa buat luahan hati ke hati.

The guilt is killing me

my first day at work. supposed to be an interview. or sort of, a test. to see whether or not I'm capable of doing the task given. keje kuli je. heh.

kak mas tanye, tak sakit jari ke. wa kata sakit blakang. my jari jemari are trained to do this kind of thing. dia tanye, wa sanggup ke work underpressure. and wa experienced it, first hand, first day, the kind of pressure she ment. if I can stand my mom, I can stand just about everything else. erk!

friendly environment. memang satu bilik tu kami yang punye. officemate lain sume gila². wa je yang senyap. I lost my idung again. help!

diorang naya wa. takpe. ade lori, ade bas. ampes.

sebab office berada di kawasan heavy traffic, wa naik putra. wa? putra? wa reti tau. cume jarang naik je. ihiks. maRk 5-6 kali duk ingatkan wa, "camni la kehidupan saya ari²". cet! tu perli ke ape kan. kita sama je maRk. beza nye, wa manja skit. skittt je la. kategori manja wa ngan manja orang lain, lain sesangat.

oh ye. no more YM/Skype for me kakngah. goodbye, my teman seperchattan. I bet you won't miss me much with your one-too-many teman tapi mesra to layan. bwahaha

letih la. letih jalan, bukan sebab keje =P ade jampi yang bleh menambah kepantasan jari dan memastikan ke-accuracy-an data?

I dodge the grave almost everyday

most of the times, I do things on short notice. so when I have the urge to suddenly buang tebiat, I would do just that. like, two nights ago:

maRk told me, she was off work on monday. cabut gigi konon. maksud tersirat - "ajak la saya kuar. tak keje arini". mua a a a a! I know how to read between the lines la maRk =P anyway, we've been planning to catch Harry Potter 5 since last two weeks. so petang isnin tu, wa saja gatal logged on to my GSC account. first timer. checked for 9.15pm show. fully booked! tanpa rasa was² dan penuh rasa buang tebiat, wa booked 12.05am punye show. called maRk, confirmed.

9.15pm wa dah kuar. konon nak makan dulu. haram jadah cik keli bikin suspen. dan² tu la dia tak mau idup. ade la 10-15min jugak, idup akhirnye. cayammm cik keli cangat² lancung². tapi dah rasa tak sedap pulak. camne kalo nak balik kang dia tak mau start kan. sempat wa bertakafur barang 5min, pi jugak. kejar sana, pi sini, drive thru McD's. sampai Midvalley 11.15pm. terus amik tiket dulu.

sebab first time buat camni kan. baru tau McD's yang dekat ngan cinema tu bukak lagi. ceh. kalo tau, tak perlu rush.

maRk pulak siap 5-6kali tanye, "btul ke kita tengok wayang ni kak pura?". "btul ke kita layan midnight ni". "tampar skit saya kak pura, nak tengok mimpi ke btul". slap! pinch! memang wa tampar sungguh². mintak kan, bagi la. heh. mase kami duk serumah, blaja same², tak penah pon nak buat camni. memang tak penah lepas ke wayang pon. la ni la baru reti.

to be honest, wa tak reti tengok wayang. tak reti cari seat. biasa ikut kakngah and geng, memang jujur membontoti diorang je. malam tu, maRk ajar. bwahahaha! selamat la. nanti wa pi tengok wayang sensorang je. wa suke.

sambung citer HP5. bile kami dah bleh masuk, memang kami berdua je dalam panggung. mula² je la. pastu masuk la yang lain. tak ramai tapi. maybe, just over 20 people kot. WA TERSANGAT LA SUKE. ingatkan, aman la kan. skali ade couple duk seat blakang kami. kejap dia ketuk seat kami, jap lagi tendang². ape kes!!!??? seat kosong punye banyak, seat yang kami duduk tu la korang nak tendang ketuk?!

al kisah nye, 2.18am tamat. dan alhamdulillah cik keli idup dengan jayanye.

great casts (as always), but story seemed a bit rush. well let just say, it WAS cut short from the original book storyline. although I agree that some of the contents kind of a drag for movie version, then again they could've done better. seriously. wonder what will happen to the final two chapters, the Half-Blood Prince and the Deathly Hallows - with each book spanning over 600 pages.

lovely ol' me:

Title: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Adventure/Fantasy)
Director: David Yates
"Get away from my Godson!". I'm falling in love with Sirius Black, all over again. But not for long, though :( OK. Here's the thing. Comparing the movie to the book is a big no-no. I only disappoint myself. The longest book in the series made into the shortest movie. Great fighting scene didn't make up for what's been left out. Still managed to keep me awake, with Umbridge's authority that led to the Weasley twins mischief/rebel. The kissing scene between Harry and Cho, which seemed so naive, was sort of a turn off. Then again, considering it is a kids movie. And I quote Shacklebolt from the movie, "You may not like him, Minister. But you can't deny - Dumbledore's got style". Yep!

And I forsee the dark ahead if I stay

PC Fair at KL Convention Centre. packed! phew! sambar a new printer, or two? mimi's another. free trolley. hence, the 'ketidakpuasan-hati-dan-perasaan' customer lain. "why those girls got a trolley?". we bought two! hello! can you NOT see what I'm dragging behind me?! heck it was heavy. dengan bangga wa tarik ala² stewardess dari KLCC ke Suria KLCC, thru taman klcc tu, since I parked my cik keli kat entrance Tower Records. mua a a a.

lain pada tu beli USB LAN. the reason why I can, finally, ONLINE right now. yang internal ni kaput. laptop umur 4 tahun kan. siap ade bunyi 'pop! pop!' kadang. ntah ape la yang melepuk².

kakngah, sambut 'keboleh-online-nan' wa dengan sponsor wa separuh w850i. pergh! best.

Big girl, you are beautiful!

the hell we ARE! we got the curve. winks.

back in Raub. needed as 'seketeri terjun' for me mum. nasib le anakanda ingat lagi jalan pulang. ihiks! bukan biasa weekend je ade la kat sini? no komen.

pre-ordered harry potter 7th and final book. wa just couldn't wait. although, I was planning to buang tebiat and beratur as early as 7am at Tesco Ampang on the day it came out. cancelled, last minute decision, ikut abg balik Raub. plus, fulus shortage =P selasa kendian nye baru amik. from rm109.90, wa only paid rm82.42. how come? the benefits of being Popular Club member, I guess. also got a free, hideously white Deathly Hallows t-shirt.

as good as the six previous books. had to stall myself, takut cepat abih. bukan memang tu ke niat sebenar? isk. sebab buku last kan. bile dah abih, bukan sedih sebab citer nye. tapi sedih sebab dah takde buku lain lepas ni. sob sob sreh!

moi again:

Title: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Fantasy)
By: J.K. Rowling
SPOILER WARNING! Right. So Harry got married to Ginny, Ron ended up with Hermione, had 'oh-they-look-so-much-like-me' kids. And to get to that point, Rowling managed to kill, among all people, Fred Weasley, Mad-eye Moody, Lupin, Tonks, Dobby and Snape (who had been innocent from the beginning). The "neither can live while the other survive" prophecy finally made sense. Horcruxes destroyed, the Deathly Hallows claimed. By the way, the Deathly Hallows are 'the Elder Wand', 'the Resurrection Stone' and 'the Cloak'. I'd love to see how the wizard war (between Hogwartians and the Death Eater/Voldemort) turns out on the seventh movie. Would be a blast!

You're the fugitive but you don't know what you're running away from

I made quite a commotion just now. and pretty much embarrassed myself in front of abg and kak siti. bwahaha. my eyes still sting from crying. what the heck! ok ok. here's what happened.

while I was "oh sooo" intensely concentrating on Jensen Ackles *loves* in Supernatural, suddenly, abg simply said, "kakde...". dengan tahap ke-konpius-an yang amat tinggi, wa tanye la, "ape?". with a sly smile he said something not so audible to me, and I asked again and got "baik awak bangun" as a reply. dengan penuh konpius seserius tahi, wa tanye lagi, "apesal?!".

and then... I realized. the room behind me, which now serves as a store, well, what do you expect. a room full of this-and-that would most likely, PROBABLY, be a good breeding space for cockroaches. yes. LIPAS!

so, I sort of turned around and looked at the door. there's a gap between the door and floor. I think I turned (impossibly) white. right there and then, I felt it. crawling under me. and yes, wa bersila in front of my laptop. as malays, we try to preserve our culture even if we were living in a modern society with such latest technology and stuff.

excuse my gibberish thoughts.

as that particular creepy-crawler, crawling under my "sila", I've gone hysteric. for real, yo! sirius black wa nangis, kejung! for those who didn't know, lipas is my WORST fear. I can bear being put inside a lion cage, or chased by the Hungarian Horntail dragon. but when it comes to dealing with lipas, wa surrender beb.

wa dah keras, jerit² kat sini. sampai kak siti kuar dari bilik. hiks! sori la kak siti, kalo tertanggu tido :P abg to the rescue la kan. smack! splat! tamat la riwayat kesan degil.

I'm still shaking. traumatized. wa rasa cam ade yang tengah merayap² kat badan. adoi la. don't think I could get any decent sleep tonight. afraid I might have recurring nightmare, you know, with lipas in it. yewww!

on my 3rd mug of nescafe. kaw! learned that from makde and abah. I'll go ting tong in a few, you know, caffein. DARN YOU, lipas!

I'm too afraid to come clean

guilty conscience strikes again. I'd pour my heart out here, but considering it is rather private for such a public place. still I wish I could've just spill it all out. would've been a GREAT relief for me. sigh.

note to self: stop making myself A JUG of nescafe 'kaw', (which is usually the reason why I stay up late at night) and whine about it later. bangs head.

I can't say 'no' to you

my parents' first visit to Alamanda. we are, however, still the typical kind of orang kampung. seriously. wa yang excited. they are (old-fashioned) working parents who spent their free time at home. doing house works or simply relax and watch tv. sepanjang wa tau, mak ngan abah bukan la jenis yang suke jalan² tak bersebab. cam, "oh, sok ahad. jom shopping!". nope.

kira nye kalo dapat jalan² tu, ade sebab. contoh cam, pi KL jumpe sedara ke, kenduri/ lawat cucu/ anta anak² blaja/ pi hospital. sambil² tu ade masa (dan fulus) bleh bazir baru la singgah.

al kisah nye, mak abah datang umah abg nak jaga cucu kejap. wa anta kak siti pi interview. settle. breakfast. mak abah ikut/paksa wa clear kan umah kat cyberjaya. sesambil tu, "kakde, mak teringin la nak tengok alamanda tu". nyeh nyeh nyeh!

plak tu, diorang kalo ikut wa ke tempat baru, suke la benar membontoti wa. instead of saing kan. wa plak, tak suke la lancung² jalan sorang di depan. sebab wa biasa jalan², sorang². wa jalan laju. zup zup zap! dapat ape wa nak, wa balik.

kadang wa siap remind diri sendiri, slow dol! mak abah kat blakang. bwahaha! pastu memang jujur wa gelak sendiri. ape kes? tsk.

sambung balik citer alamanda. mak dapat la hand bag sebijik. kebetulan matches her purse. lalu MPH, wa tunjuk poster buku Harry Potter 7. wa citer la, tu final chapter. out this july 21st. wa already have the rest of the series. dia tanye bape hengget. cakap la rm109.90 kan. memang tu la dalam ads. hardcover plak lagi. dia sengeh, "mak bleh support separuh tu". salah ayat la tu makkk... wa lagi la mengerang busuk dah dia cakap gitu kan. siap *tepuk tangan* HURRAH!

kot dia ingat la kan. dia lupe, dia lupe la. wa tak kesah pon. bukan wa beli terus ari buku tu kuar pon. buku lain² tu pon (termasuk la benda² lain yang bleh dianggap membazir - CD, sandal, etc.) wa curi² duit blanja wa sendiri. standard lepas membazir, makan plastik wrapper buku Harry Potter la kan. mua a a a.

Just so EVERYBODY knows...

...I hate being the last to know. makes me cedih cangat² lancung². like, tipu ke tipu!?? (dengan penuh rasa tertipu lagi ditipu). hurts.

I long to be like you, lie cold in the ground - like you!

last night my bro suddenly asked for the scanner driver. later he scanned a few old photos of him. and this morning, while checking his updated FS profile, I realized. it HAS been five years. since my beloved grandma passed away. how could I forget. it's exactly seven days after my birthday!

it's just another reason for me to dread over my birthday (since 2002). so many people died, that time of the year. my grandpa (july 5th), pakcik din - one of my uncle, (july 1st). well these two left us earlier, when I was too young to really feel the lost. so, not so much impact as my grandma did to me.

to be honest, I never move on. I break down everytime I see an old lady. in anyway. walking across the street, chatting with grandchild, gardening around the house, doing some chores. all I see is my atuk rumah. that's the name we called her by. coz she was the housewife, while our grandpa had a coffee shop, I think. so we called him atuk kedai.

why this one hurt so bad? maybe coz of what happened the night before. sigh. my two cousins and I got to help the elders gave her the last bath (?) by that time, I sort of shut off. I didn't know what to feel. until it was done, and I saw kakngah wiped her tears. then it all came back. she's gone, for good.

I know, I'm not suppose to meratap over the dead. wish I could help it. I guess I don't want to let go, just yet.

nani rindu kat atuk. al fatihah...

I live to fight another day...

...or so it seems.

ok. forget about x830. here comes:

samsung sgh-f210. same design/functions. but this one comes with 2.0 megapixel camera, expandable storage (up to 2gb microSD). and it has normal 3 column keypad, an ease to my sms-ing gala (compare to x830's 2 column keypad).

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall

it's thursday. it's june 21. it's my birthday! happy birthday to me =) the 23rd years of me living on this planet. may there'll be more to come. might get a few wishes. I've (or my family) never known to celebrate birthdays. sometimes forgotten. and, "eh, semlm birthday si polan. happy birthday si polan!". heh.

I remember getting a diary (which I never used). a tweety bird alarm clock. a distorted garfield mug. oh yes, a chocolate and kaftan (or baju kelawar la). from my parents, which supposed to be a make up gift. after they got me sulking for a week. although, I was not sulking, as in - mopping around the house, not eating or doing anything or being rebellious. I was just being quieter than I usually did.

so I wouldn't expect much. plus, I'm not complaining coz it saves me from returning the favour =P

I recall somebody told me, that we die on the day we were born. ie: if you were born on a monday, you'd die on a monday too. I was born june 21, 1984. it was thursday. who knows.

For once in my life, I think it'd be nice just to lose control - just once!

my latest craze/obsession(s):

our entertainment industry (music-wise, particularly) is dead. most of the singing competitions, now infamously dub into reality tv show, suck - BIG TIME. then, one day while I was driving, was listening to FlyFm. they were playing this live medley of L.O.V.E/We will rock you/I don't wanna be, by some guy that I didn't know of. was totally blown off by his vocal/energy and I thought, "ohh another 'mat saleh' for me to drool over". but then the radio announcer said "something, something, of 'One in a Million' competition". what the..?! and later I heard 'Maha Karya Cinta'. I couldn't just keep listening to it without knowing who is this VERY talented singer. so I asked my trusty and reliable friends (when it comes to soppy-karatz-teeny-poppish malay songs/artists, they are my know-it-all source). and voila!

Faizal Tahir. everybody was, like, "nani, ok ka? tersampuk ke ape?". bwahaha. well I'm actually a rock chick. heavily tatooed bods, guitar solos, crazy drums, incomprehensible scream/growl, or simply loud music. Metallica, Linkin Park, Megadeth, Caliban, Avenged Sevenfold, Lamb of God, System of a Down, Dream Theater, Arctic Monkeys, Linkin Park, Incubus, Lacuna Coil, Himsa, Bleeding Through. well I kinda freak myself out too. but I appreciate/adore beautiful voice. no matter in what genres they come, let it be nasyid or metal or oldies or dangdut. erk? ok I lie, no dangdut for me - ever!

back on Faizal Tahir. well bro, you are a breath of fresh air.

I love the look, its functionality. it's big. plus it's BLACK. planning on getting myself a new phone with wider screen. currently using Samsung e630, since march 2005. suit perfectly for a girl, but NOT a gal as clumsy as moi. so, I thought, maybe SE w850i would be a good change.

until, I got a glimpse on this. Samsung x830. the tiniest thing ever. compact. so there won't be much space for mp3, even smaller screen. but SIMPLICITY is the best way to go. besides, I don't do 3G, I hardly MMS-ing. about ringtone, most of the time I put my phone on vibrate. and now, fulus is ALWAYS the problem =P well, ehemm, anyone? my birthday just around the corner.. june, 21st.. ehemm. mua a a a!

Trying to silence the fear within me

just spent my weekly allowance on a new CD and a pair of sandals. bad, Nani. bad!

will review this later =)

what on earth?! I'd be 2 inches taller with those on! this is so-ridiculously.. NOT me!

One hell of a ride

wanted to post this two nights ago. but then I was too tired. every single cells of mine was aching. my urat belikat and tengkorok went kejung from a long drive. plus it's THAT time of the month. chuckles. slept in, even my parents wouldn't dare to disturb my beauty sleep. heaven!

long drive? me, mak and abah went to see ajib last saturday. yes in Tangkak, Johor. my first trip. I think. been to johor before. where exactly, don't have a clue. started early as we usualy do, around 7am, from Raub (I'm a certified driver for family trip these days). stopped for breakfast in Bentong. at Hajrah, our favourite. stuffed myself with two roti canai. yummy. continued on 'til tol Sg. Besi, stopped to do our little biz =P

it's actually not that far. KL - Tangkak, approximately one and a half hour (of driving over the speed limit). like, 130 - 140km/h. bwahaha. me likey. p/s to mak: expect a speeding ticket in the mail, in a month or two. grins. seriously, I marked the calendar. just in case the police guy I saw near Kajang exit caught me on his camera. abah's gonna kill me. he literally reminded me every five seconds! to slow down a little. did I listen? nooo. heck! jalan lurus beb. is cannot. orang lain eksiden bawak laju, wa eksiden bawak slow. camne? isk. mintak simpang. wa blum kawen lagi. kehek!

arrived at ajib's kolej around 11am. tok lebai tu ade kursus imam/tok siak (?) kami ingatkan dia join program tu. rupenye dia yang handle. adik wa ni kalo x jadi adun Raub nanti, xtau la. heh. lunch kat cafe/kantin kolej. anak² ikan sume pandang wa x puas ati siot. ape kes? am I that intimidating?

ajib setel, bawak dia kuar. checked in kat Ophir Hotel. 10 minutes from KMJ. we crammed into two-bedded room. with an extra bed and mattress (since there was four of us). quite a nice stay. not all that luxury. but clean, comfortable, affordable.

bandar tu sendiri, biasa je. not much of a difference between kampung sendiri. tapi pusing la cukup 360 darjah, kedai kain merata. ade la the store kalo nak shopping.

sunday morning, checked out, had breakfast, off to Melaka. as my abah said, tengok cucu lion. thats 'li' - 'on'. I called it, meredah. why? coz we didn't exactly remember the way to umah kak siti. it just happened that everytime I took a turn, or saw a sign, a building, or any landmarks - I was, "ohh, aritu ade lalu ni". "haa ingat ade nampak tu", "btul ade masuk simpang ni". and voila! umah kak siti, which looked different since the only time we've been there, was during merisik/tunang and nikah. sah² mase tu kawasan umah penuh ngan atap, meja, kerusi kan. x perasan la jugak.

nazmi, ya tuhan. tido lasak! itu keturunan. memang nak luas. xbleh bertilam, tergolek ke lantai. memang kuak lentang! kacau la macam mane pon. dia kata nak tido, nak tido la kan. xde nye peduli de =P lunched, reminiscing, sent ajib back to KMJ. 3.30pm stopped for solat, dropped ajib, and off for home.

ujan, road construction, traffic jam, accidents. tertanggu wa tau. ade lori, treller, masuk longkang. abih signboard exit Kajang. rasa nye tinggi kedudukan signboard tu. rompong! bayangkan kelajuan LORI tu. geleng kpale. sempat reply msg abg (kat tol, sebab benti queue bayar tol kan). with my (or abg's) enset condition, yang memerlukan kepakaran dan kesabaran yang tinggi untuk reply msg, xbleh nak baca msg sesuke ati. nanti ekciden, wa xmau jadi sebahagian dari statistik semata.

6.30pm, called abg, lepak kedai kat umah dia. tunggu ujan reda, solat kat umah dia, 9pm gerak balik Raub. renyai. abah pesan untuk 1081 kali nye, "xyah laju², ujan, jalan licin". xperlu pesan dah abah. kalo ade polis pon wa xrisau - the slowest I could ever go. wa was totally flat by that time, but abah have to work the next morning. so he could have the boss' seat, and I still wanted to drive us home. 10.40pm - home sweet home. alhamdulillah.

wa nampak tilam je. siang isnin tu mak tanye wa balik KL jugak ke petang nanti. wa dengar abah jawab, "xde nye balik tu. kakde tu letih lagi. jangan dikacau". mua a a a. wa suke btul kalo ade yang memahami ni. memang sungguh la x tertanggu langsung tido wa.

tapi ape la kisah nye teman seperchattan wa dengan ketidak-online-nan wa these couple of days. raises eyebrow.

Now I know I was wrong

moi.

Title: The Open Door (Album)
Artist: Evanescence
Lyrically this album is pretty straight forward. It is likely things which are experienced personally by Lee. Of stalker harrasment, departed band members, deceased sister, therapy session, to name a few. The songs deliver deep/dark mood, and somehow annoyingly haunting. Lee has also improved on vocal. She learned how to play more with her voice, and managed to hit on some of the lowest notes. While the others didn't do bad themselves. 13 tracks, approximately 54 minutes. Ends with a misleading, 'happy' song of the album, "Good Enough".

Title: Favourite Worst Nightmare (Album)
Artist: Arctic Monkeys
Catchy. Clever lyrics. Radio friendly. High energy. Except for two tracks, "Only Ones Who Know" and "505". They managed to stand out among others in the genre. Matured since their debut. Showing us that they ain't monkeying around. And aren't they cute young boys? *winks*

You'll never know the way your words have haunted me

abg blk keje tanye wa xkuar umah langsung ke seharian ni. salah soklan daa abg. dah wa teringin nak kuar. lepas maghrib call maRk, call pawie. set! ape lagi diorang memang pakat 1 ari ni msg wa ajak kuar. tertanggu jiwa wa tau.

nak jalan jejauh dah x sempat. pi tempat favourite paling dekat je. jumpe chocolate breadspread! *drools* pastu lepak NZ wangsa maju. maRk nak blanja x mau la cakap awal² kan. wa dah siap makan kenyang² kat umah. 1st attempt - sambal udang. wa bukan makan udang pon. abg je yang makan. saje la buat. so esok kalo abg x kuar² pada bilik air, tau la kenapa. mua a a a.

sambung lepak kat NZ ni tadi. tetiba ade 2 keta polis. xde la bunyi kan, tapi lampu duk liplap². kami dah bajet ade rush. rupenye beli tauhu bakar je? atuk dia cun la. tutup la lampu dol! lampu dalam kedai f.o.s. pon wa bleh pening, lagi mau liplap². huh. lepak sampai abih emil emilda. bleh?

layan titiwangsa seround. NAK NAIK FERRIS WHEEL. hayun berdua tu takut?! tsk. korang ni kan. spoil la. ade cape² nak naik ngan wa? ihiks.

parked port biasa. ade parking tempat orang bertenet =P dekat ngan taman, tempat orang main bola/futsal. tempat kami meluah perasaan. all out. memang sampai benda yang sangka xpatut jadi, jadi. wah! dalam pada rapat, x la baper kenal rupenye. sbb wa xramai kawan kan, papehal wa cube bersikap neutral. cewah. walaupun wa x suke, wa kawan. bab yang xsuke tu, wa sumpah la berlori² dalam ati kan.

citer 3 tahun lepas kan, mana cukup nak abih kan 3 jam lepak kan. kalo buat movie pon bleh jadi trilogy tau. siap kena tegur ngan pakcik² polis yang memang biasa ronda situ. kul 1pagi?! "balik la weh, korang kena samun kang tau la". ampeh. kitorang siap jerit dalam keta, "jangan gitu ah!". memang ye kan. makde kata, yang xelok tu jangan dimintak =P bila tanye kitorang tunggu sape, balas je la xnunggu sape pon kan. saje lepak release tension konon. hark ptuih. dia bleh suh kitorang pi karaoke. ape kes? "heliza bleh je nyanyi. korang pi la karaoke". layan af pakcik² ni rupenye. walaupun xmuat, kami gelak guling² jugak dalam keta.

balik la kan. takut jugak kot diorang saje round lagi skali, tengok kitorang xjalan². ade plak, korang ni nak kene escort balik ke. kan. haha. on je. rase cam vip sket kan. isk. cukup la sesi interogasi kami ngan dbkl time citrawarna 2004 dulu. geleng kpale.

Grieving the things I can't repair

conversation took place at Rock Corner, The Curve:

salesguy: 2 sahaja? *he meant cd*
me: mmm 2 cukup sekarang. *and I smiled*
salesguy: ohh ok. 2 cukup...
me: beli byk xde diskaun ke? *I puppy-eyed him*
salesguy: *sorta whispering* syy... ade. tapi jgn ckp org
lain. *smirked*
me: *gave a VERY wide smile* ehh kene la ckp same org lain.
nanti org ramai dtg sini.
salesguy: *gave a thoughful look* mmm xbleh bising². tapi...
btul jugak kan.
me: haa nanti ramai org mau dtg beli kat sini.
salesguy: btul-btul. itu kwn xmau cd? *pointed to
kakngah*
me: oh satu dia punya. *explained why I got 2
cds*
salesguy: dia sapa? kawan?
me: sepupu. cousin. *setengah org xpaham sepupu tu hape
kan*
salesguy: ohh. sepupu. so ini you punye? *holding arctic
monkeys'*
me: aa. *nodded*
salesguy: *while holding evanescence's* ini sepupu
punya?
me: aa.

ade iklan, kakngah fikir² nak beli cd kosong ke x. sempat
lg salesguy tu pot pet pot pet pasal cd kosong tu plak.

salesguy: ini diskaun... rm48. ini diskaun... rm 46. jumlah
rm94.
salesguy: *before handing me the change* saya simpan
ini.
me: WTF?! *ahhaha no I didn't say that* ehh patut pulang kat
saya byk sket.
salesguy: thank you *smiled*

kakngah: bleh mcm tu?

why did I even bother to blog this? that was the 1st time I ever really had a conversation, like that. with a stranger (ie: cashier). sirius black. selama ni kalo org kedai ke sesape la, duk byk ckp camtu, biasa wa senyum je. kalo wa shopping ngan kengkawan, kengkawan yg byk mulut. not me. NEVER me. mungkin seblum masuk kedai tu tadi, wa ade tersampuk ape² ke kan. wa sendiri musykil. camner?

dalam erti kata lain, tadi pi bejalan ke The Curve ngan teman seperchattan wa. pastu pi restoran Kunang-kunang. sbelah projet gombak. makan ngan kengkawan kakngah. PIERRE ANDRE DATANG MAKAN SITU. terkesima jap. malangnye kedudukan kami x strategik. sempat tengok masa dia kat entrance je. TAPI SAH ITU PIERRE. loves.

bleh tahan la makanan nye. suasana agak best kalo kene cuaca nya. dan, ada nyamuk kakngah =P kalo carha yang blanje, macihhh uncle car. ngeeee :D kalo lepas tu, kakngah ganti plak smule, macihhh umi. awk iklas ke, x ke, tu kita citer di alam lain. heh. wa bab berterima kasih secara lisan ni, fail! sori jugak pasal kesenyapan dan ke"awkward"an wa depan diorang. seems that sometimes I still lose my idong.

I'm my own worst enemy...

...no doubt about it.

kelmarin buat teh. pekat. pada yg blum tau, kesan teh pekat same ngan nescafe. xbleh tido. ampeh! nak marah sape? wa sendiri yang buat. coih. long story short - wa xtido la mlm nye kan. siang semlm xde jugak ngantuk. sampai la time kene layan kakngah. time tu mmg "ngantuk" gile. mua a a a. kot tido siang pon, nanti mlm xmau tido plak lg kan. semlm mmg mlm begitu pendek untuk wa. 10pm je wa dah terbungkang. cam pompuan! gile awal. isk.

oh ye. pada yang tiba² rajinnn la sgt masak tu konon nye, jgn gaul lada ngan tgn. bare hands. ee... ouch! sirius black rasa mcm nak siat kulit ni, letak tepi dulu. bleh? pastu ayam yang kononnye diperap ngan lada ni td, sket pon xpedas. ampes! tgn wa dah kurus tau!

arini kene balik raub. raub? wa ingat lagi ke jalan pulang? ihiks! dah sebulan wa xbalik. not that big of deal. tapi untuk wa yang jenis, weekend je balik. ade cuti sehari, tengah minggu ni, balik jugak. tiba² sebulan xjumpe umah? tapi balik kejap je. jadi seketari mak =P semlm sempat lagi ngumpat dgn abg. abg? ngumpat pasal mak? mau terbakar dan² tu jugak. seb baik le x kan. haha.

and congrats to abg syakirin and kak yana. proud new parents to a healthy baby girl, may 28, 4.02pm, 3.33kg. excited nye ramai anak sedara!

Are you lost in your lies?

am I?

Title: Minutes To Midnight (Album)
Artist: Linkin Park

So, I couldn't get myself to hate LP, after all. They are THE band for me. My first love of loud music. My first taste of rock - no, not really. That would be Iron Maiden, Megadeth, Cromok, Sepultura, Metallica - when I was 8-9 years old. Back then, everytime I heard them blaring out from my bro's room, I'd yell "bising la along!" =P Now now. Back on LP. It took a while for their new tunes to finally grow on me. So it's true. They wanted to get away from the rap metal sound and adapted more of rock/ballad (?) style - the type that you could easily sing along. Lyrically, they've gone a bit political and touched on what's been happening around the world. Mike Shinoda MC-ed only on two tracks. Did a clean-vocal singing. Which, to me, not a great move. And you could barely hear Mr. Hanh's sampling. Yet, you'd unmistakably recognized the "LP sound". The album is just over 40 minutes. Consists of 12 tracks (where, first track, 'Wake' is a short no-vocal-song). I called these two track, 'Given up' and 'Bleed It Out', my happy songs. I'd go "clap-clap-clap" like crazy, and switched to my happy-mood in an instance =) There's a U2's 'With or Without You' vibe to the 'Shadow Of The Day' track. An energy/spirit lifting, drum-attack intro on 'No More Sorrow'. A notable-but-not-so-great solo on song titled 'In Pieces'. And the final track, 'The Little Things Give You Away' really gives a closure to the album. Just nice.

source: moi.

Hope decays

what the..? and why? I find myself wondering about it too.

abg bleh jadi penternak lipas paling berjaya. besar ciot! mengalahkan lipas madagascar yang sah² jenisnye besar tu kan. aduhhh tertanggu wa tau! 2 ekor! DUA! nmpk 1 je wa dah gile. 2?! I might as well just admit moi-self to the nearest psychiatric ward. bleurghh!

semlm ajak maRk tido sini. umah abg. sesuke suki wa kan. ampun abg. ajak pawie ngan esah. bebdk 2ekor tu saje mempermainkan perasaan kami. huh.

layan af ngan maRk. bleh? maRk xcaya wa layan. wa lagi xcaya wa layan. kakngah pon mempermainkan perasaan wa. dah senyappp sampai ke sudah tu kan, tau la mmg xde nye dtg nye de. wa nak majuk plak bleh? kena la call wa kan. pastu wa majuk lagi, tunggu blanje makan. menarik.

tadi siang pi midvalley. akhirnye ade hak ber2 tu. mmg midvalley tu kami yg punye. paling best, I BOUGHT LP'S MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT. yay. sebab wa majuk ngan awk kan kakngah, awk punye postpone. tunggu wa kumpul duit lagi baru beli yg awk plak. mua a a a.

ngantuk awal plak. semlm tido 7am. ape kes? buat teh pekat. jangan ingat nescafe je bleh buat tahan ngantuk. tapi trauma wa blum ilang. wa yang mati ni kang, bau ridsect. tsk.

melanun la dulu.

You don't know a thing about my sins

mlm tadi umi saje mentanggu wa. bwk anis dtg. dah la kejap je. huh. kejap² pon sempat la jugak kan =P

baby dah blk melaka semlm. wa masih kat umah abg. got the house all to myself. evil grin. parti buih? dah ckp kat abg, pesan kat makcik sebelah. kalo nmpk buih kuar kat pintu umah, jgn terkejut. mua a a a. bleh? astaga!

dah buat plan layan af final ramai². wa? af? sebab dah tgk dari awal. lagi pon abg bkn ade movie channel. isk. kakngah join? xnak tido sini pon xpe la. kita tgk af je. abih blk la.

wa rasa kesaorangan. ape kes? bkn xbiasa duk sorang. sini lawaeh skit kot. kalo kat cyberjaya kot sorang, wa tau serumah tu ade org lain. lawaeh = luas. arwah tuk umah je yang slalu ckp camtu.

Newborn

bin Mohd Nizam. 11.45am. 15 May 2007. 3.5kg. ramai la askar kita. anis la jugak sorang bunga nye.

<<-edited: May 16, 2007 1.32 am->>

percubaan menjadi 'ibu tunggul'. dan berjaya!

nenek dan atuk yg excited to receive another grandson =)

muhammad nur nazmi. born May 15, 2007. 11.45am. 3.5kg.

ubat batuk cap IBU DAN ANAK.

<<-edited: May 16, 2007 1.32 am->>

It seems you're somewhere far away

sakit kepala.

ajib dah masuk matrik. akhirnya. kolej matrik johor. tangkak. isk. jauh. wa is gonna lindu him cangat² lancung². sob sob sreh! pi semlm. mak abah anta. wa xikut. saje gatal. lepas bertolak dari raub, singgah jap umah abg. jumpe la sblum pi konon. adeh. masa babai dia wa tahan nangis je. berjaya! hmm.

kak siti's due today. dah masuk hospital. tapi blum bersalin lagi. la ni wa je jadi jaga kat umah abg. mak abah dari tangkak tadi, terus pi ampang putri. mak ayah kak siti pon ade kata nye. wa siang tadi pi dah kejap. kot pi skang ni bkn buat ape pon. duk menjaga jugak. hospital tu sendiri ade jaga. xperlu wa menyemakkan keadaan =P

goreng daging. goreng bodo je. ade kuah sikit. lebih air daging tu kan campur sos tiram. ajib suke wa masak camtu. isk. tapi tiba², masin. org kata buat benda masin, nak kawen. wahak! ye ke? ke tu tanda wa jarang ke dapur? heh. is cannot! tu specialty wa. nak kawen la tu. bwahaha!

Why do all good things come to an end

and now my handphone plak majuk ngan wa. sebab dah berangan nak yg lain kan. skrin blank. putih. suci. murni. abg: "ke awak mmg letak wallpaper kaler putih?". blasah kang! function sume elok. cume xnmpk la kan. tsk! cayammm ciot! ni la handphone 1st beli sendiri. March 2005. 2 tahun. kira lama gak jadah haram ni tahan, especially in the hand of clumsy ol' moi. wa dropped it 1 too many times, I guess. ACCIDENTALLY. and I blame kakngah for that. mua a a a. ha la kan. sambil drive main msg ngan dia. letak la phone atas riba. bile kuar keta, xperasan phone ade atas riba. bangun je, ade benda tergolek. aduh! wa rasa nak tergolek skali. bleh?

abg still at work. 10.00pm? yes. bak kata dia la, twin tower tu tutup kalo dia xpi keje. kak ct dah xsedap perut. baby dah xsabar nak kuar. hehe.

eh? ade iklan sinaran pasport kegemilangan. sudah² la buat pertandingan macam tu. industri muzik mesia ni dah sesak, semak, tercemar, senang citer xbest la. last² sume jadi pengacara program yg ngabih kan duit penonton jugak.

wa meraban sensorang dalam ni pon, benda² tu tetap jalan gak kan =P

Dry your tears

been watching reruns. one after another. pretty boring night.

Title: The Book of Lost Things (Fiction/Mystery)
By: John Connolly
David, a loner, lost his mother at a tender young age. He loves his story books, as his mother once did. After a while, his father found himself a new wife - Rose. Apparently, the nurse who helps tended David's mother. And later new half-brother, little Georgie. One day, books around him starts to talk. With each other, to him. And there's this creepy looking thing, The Crooked Man. And David found out there's a doorway for him to run from this world, to the other world - his own fairytale land. The story of David's life is based on the author own growing up experiences. I love how some of the famous/known fairy tales were being incorporated, and sort of twisted into a different version. And yeah, final 1/3 of the book is filled with the original version of the fairy tales.

Title: Forever
Artist: Papa Roach
One, I hate roaches. I mean those six-legged crawling things.
Yuck! Two, Papa Roach ain't having me as their 'kipas-susah-mati', yet. Three, I never realized that Jacoby has a nice clean-singing voice. Not until I heard this one. The ending, kills me everytime. Still the sound gets old quick. Thus, just 3 stars.

from moi. of course.

And you love to hate me don't you, honey?

still at abg's crib. malas je nak blk cyberjaya =P

pawie's now back in civilization. haha. sblum ni lepas ke muazam. la ni praktikal kat pnb (?) ngan aishah. small world, indeed. kwn sekolej wa, jumpe ngan kwn skolah wa. so tadi after maghrib, kuar ngan maRk pi midvalley. ajak la pawie ngan aishah. dah lame xjumpe kan. dia letih. konon =P xpe. lain kali. diorang duk setmpt ngan maRk. wah. ari² bleh singgah umah ngumpat. best nye!

citer pasal midvalley. dkt speedy video tu skang ade presale LP's new record. rm45.90. kene byr penuh. mula ingat nak book la skeping. malang nye wa xpuas hati. byr penuh tapi benda nye xdpt kat tgn la tu jugak kan. isk. is cannot. wa tunggu la dia kuar. tapi xdpt la poster. kot. nak poster!

xde la sale ke ape ke kan. saje je. maRk beli tracksuit ngan baju. wa? mua a a a. teng teng teng. lipstick?! caye ke caye? wa sendiri x caye. camne? tapi menarik. maybelline [lip]smooth. no.14 cinnamon. rm9.88. wa promote ke promote? wa sukak. and since my phone decided to go "no connection detected" mode on me, I had to google and found this on one of their website. the german maybelline web's I think.

anyhoo. left midvalley just in time, kami tolong tutupkan kedai² kat situ. chuckles. cam biasa, kalo sblum blk x mentekedarah dulu x sah. our favourite spot. "I'm lovin' it". grins.

sebab duk umah org kan. awal jugak la blk. kot tiba² abg kunci pintu kan. tehee.

Go on and disappear

majority rules. AF what we've watched. what I had to watch. guess what? I'm DARN satisfied with this week's result. Dafi's finally being sent home. yay! no offence to Dafi, or his fans. he's cute but thats just it. don't fret, you who love him so dearly. he'd be a product's spokeperson, or a show host. or radio presenter. or the next roda impian co-host. you know. winks.

Darn it!

my laptop decided to go kaput one day. yep. for the millionth time! lost half of my best collection of antu-dalam-balang's mp3s. aisyoo! so here I am. updating. installing. filling my laps with all the same junks. again. well it's 4years old! supposed to be an ancient relic stored in the louvre. sigh.

at my bro's. in ukay perdana. he's my personal comp tech. nani cayammm awak cangat² lancung² abg. grins. teman kak siti pi ampang putri. she's due this may 14th. wah! wa yang excited. sebab masa haikal ngan danial dulu pon wa tunggu, melaporkan live dari tmpt kejadian. malam ni tido sini la. saje gatal.

lapa. bosan. my watch's dead - need a change of battery. I need a new novel. I want Linkin Park's new CD.

Losing track of time

kakngah kalo bab mempermainkan perasaan wa, dia la no 1. isk. wa menci tau.

I wrote these on FS. thought I'd share 'em here.

Title: The Face (Horror/Occult)
By: Dean Koontz
Survive first half of the book, then you'll be alright =P Aelfric Manheim, the son of world's famous actor Channing Manheim (whom he called Ghost Dad) and the infamous supermodel Fredericka Neilander (Nominal Mom) is being targeted by Corky Laputa (known as Moloch to Fric). Laputa has the ambition of bringing chaos to the world. While Ethan Truman, the Manheim's chief security, (still trying to get over of the death of his wife, Hannah) has a soft spot for Fric. To stop Laputa, Truman's recently deceased best friend, Dunny Whistler is found alive (after a pack made with Typhon - an angel of sort) now being the guardian to help Truman save the kid's life, even his own.

Title: MTV Unplugged (Live)
Artist: Korn
Yay! Finally, got my hands on this. Undeniably superb. Been wondering who's behind the rabbit mask since the first time I saw their unplugged perfomance. Doing backup vocal and playing multi-instruments. Kalen Chase (or Musmecci?). Also the vocalist of Illium and The Changing. Yes, I wiki-ed that. Haha. Anyway, he got one hell of a voice, I say! So he's not what you call "the Idol-qualified" type. SO AS JON'S. But works for me. Yep! Well I thought I'm reviewing Korn's. Pfft!

got another book waiting. cheers!

Love song for the dear departed

I miss them. my "dear departed".

pi 1utama ngan kakngah. xjumpe tower records. bleh gitu? ke pandangan kami dikaburi, saje xkasi nmpk tower records. I DESPERATELY need, at least, one new cd. necrophagist. korn. evanescence. decapitated. 36crazyfist. arctic monkeys. megadeth. lamb of god. all that remains. katatonia. moonspell. anyone? ;-)

"sori nani. xbleh ajak awk tido umah". atas sbb² keselamat. ngape 'keselamat'? tanye kakngah. heh. tido umah awk pon bkn ade ape best pon. astro xpasang². kalo x, bleh gak lyn anime ke. ni pepagi bute duk tgk org ngabih ke kredit main game kt channel 8.

ari cuti, tapi ramai org. bkn sume patut blk kg ke? eh, wa xblk kan? teng teng teng. bkn senang nk tgk wa berweekend di perantauan. org² di raub 2-3 kali call tanye blk x blk. wa, yg tergolong dlm golongan vip ni, mmg kalo skali xblk sume org jd xkeruan la. cewah! mu a a a =P

nanti siang, jln tar. ikut kakngah cari kain langsir. kakngah? langsir? rasa cam pompuan dol! akaka. ni blog wa ke blog kakngah. asik kuar "kakngah" je. hah lagi. skang kira bape byk "kakngah" wa tulis :D

Can you see me fascinated?

went out for a midnight snack. tpm's McD's is MY spot! drive thru je tapi. pastu lepak r&r tol sgbesi tu. bleh? wa sendiri xpaham .scratches head. planned to go to midvalley. cancelled last minute. kot tiba² siang sok bleh bejln ngan kakngah ke kan.

I found a long lost friend. or rather, he found me. 7 years. sorry Jaleel, but I still don't remember you at all. I've reformatted my 'memory' quite a few times already. data lost. haha. anyway, we talk on IM since then. catching up on each others life. seems he's doing fine. thinking about it, I wonder what happened to the others. my penpals. yep back then I used to have few 'pals. I just love the idea of exchanging REAL mail rather than email. the excitement of waiting for the postman to come, reading each other handwriting. and "hey, I got this for you" - old stamps. and "been collecting these, hope you like it" - phone cards. or "here I was at..." - holiday pictures.

reminiscing again. love doing it, hate the feelings I get.

not sleepy yet. should finish up reading dean koontz's. 200+ pages more.