But why'd she have to take advantage of me

happy 24 to me!

been one of THE conspirator with them before. so I knew this was coming. just didn't expect I would be so royally surprised, punk'd, flushed... and delighted.

may there'll be more years to come for me. insyaAllah.

I've been burried alive

ever felt used? especially with ones who are close to you. which makes it much worst. takes 'hurt' to a whole new/different level.

you want them to know - that they've used you. yet, you kept it to yourself.

if I have ever done the same, unintentionally, sorry to whoever you are. I know now, what it feels.

It's tearing me inside the way you break me down!

retail therapy has left me wanting more... and BROKE! aisyoo!


next:
- black leather case and/or black rubber incase
- in-ear earphone
- usb power adapter

and of course, new CDs. lots and lots of 'em! hooyeah!

Weary and bored...

one month since last post.

kak siti @ upsi - should be seeing her again this weekend. abg's away for 2 weeks - duty calls. nazmi is proudly being spoiled by nenek and atuk misai.

as for me. alone. spent MOST of my fulus on stuff that delight me, always. got me self a new Hello Kittie handbag, Sixx:A.M. and Alter Bridge cds, 2 limited KFC mugs, 4 novels, kain kurung & tudung (s), lots and lots of McD's & KFC & mamak's, and yada yada.

thanks to dearest officemate, wa demam for the 2nd time - 3 weeks after 1st recovery. and got worst. aisyoo! on the bright side, mak and abah spoil me more when I'm sick. hoyeah!

cik keli got kaput a few weeks back. new engine, new rempit-feel. smoother. haha.

aide is ok now. moved to a new home, just few kentuts from our home. heh.

bang bil (nabil of raja lawak) has won! yay! gonna miss JoZan.

lappy is getting old. no. ancient! proud owner of a 7-month-old-and-fully-cracked-keypad SE.

ban me self from any music store and bookstore, especially Kinokuniya, at least until next paycheck.

I should stop listening to songs, which remind me of how much I miss my atuk rumah so much - failed attempt!

Just so you know, you're on your own now - believe me!

wa demam for a week. selesema + sengau for another week. AND my lappy kaput, again, for the n-th time, for a week jugak - sebab tunggu my personal techies balik dari outstation. mua a a a. ni pon tunggu masa nak kaput semula je. dah la abang tak backup file² wa. masa dia cabut segala harddisk, ingatkan dia backup. tsk! gila ramai file yang wa sayang. gambar pakwe² wa. syn!!!

takpe. alah bisa tegal biasa. walaupun tak releven peribahasa tu, wa pajak letak je. wa download semula! kuangkuangBukitkuang.

jepun kalau buat cerita hantu, seram. tapi jalan cerita kebab. wa bosan. saja iklan.

cakap pasal cerita, siapa² mau teman wa tengok wayang? layan midnite best. wa rajin sekarang. tapi cerita kena best. takat layan Dunia Baru The Movie, tak payah beli pirate pon. download je. membazir!

Memoriku, genggami-lah

this may seems like I'm bragging. a bit :D so what. get over it.

a gift from my brother, when he came home after finishing his studies in the US. how happy I was. mind you, I don't get much presents, from anyone, you know. never thought it will last for 10 solid years. and after all this while, I still can use it even with some cracks here and there. want to know why I love this wallet so much? there are so many compartments that I even lost some of my stuff in there. seriously. and when I got to many coins and receipts in there, it would bulge. no wonder it cracked! haha. then I thought I treat myself (as a new year's present, sort of) for a new purse/wallet. guess what I found? drum roll. holy sh*t! that is even bigger than my mom's "purse pergi pasar". plus it is Nightmare Before Christmas's. wanted to get one of those for a long time now. just need a reason to have one. finally. it is, what should I say, spacious? just look at that. loads and loads of place to literally hide my fulus from myself. yes! urgh.

new mission: get me self a bigger handbag. I've 'usha'-ed this Hello Kittie's bag, where I bought the NBC purse (a stall in Midvalley, by the way. right in front of Harvey Norman's entrance). just the right size and colour. no, it is not pink or near that colour in ANY way. a dark chocolate handbag with HK head-figure. simple and pretty.

wa sudah menjadi seorang perempuan. akhirnya! my mom would've been proud if she knew. "uihh anak aku dah pandai melawa sekarang. anak aku ke?". mua a a a a!

Make it right!

haven't got the chance to tell you about my first concert. a bit backdated. well here goes.

Dec 9th 2007. MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE LIVE IN STADIUM MERDEKA, KL. nyeh nyeh! this won't be the last time. going to a concert I mean. considering the good time I had that day. it was raining, yeah. but it definitely worth the 103bucks I spent.

free-seating. quite far from the stage. they set up 2 big screens, so we free-seaters could see gerard's face CLEARLY. grin. letdowns? the guards found my camera. yes. they didn't allow us to bring any sort of camera in. WTF?! you went to a concert and no camera's allowed?! I was left out of curses. seriously. but on the bright side, it WAS raining. so tak la rosak camera kena hujan. kan.

started off with performances by Pop Shuvit and Onebuckshort. it's not that I don't support our local band. but they're just not my cup of tea. this and that, tech and sound check, MCR appeared around 8.30-ish pm.

we were [almost] soaking wet when the concert management gave us each a "garbage-plastic"-like raincoat. better than nothing, eh?

ok. the minute they showed up, the moment gerard opened his mouth, I wasn't myself anymore. I was "woohoo-ing" all thru the concert. for real yo! they were brilliantly awesome! I'm used to their live performance, thanks to youtube and other online sources. so I knew then what to expect. but watching them live, literally, few hundred metres away, was quite an experience for me. their songlist, not exactly in concert-play order but alphabetically:

01. Cancer
02. Cemetery Drive
03. Dead!
04. Desert Song
05. Famous Last Words
06. Give 'Em Hell Kid
07. Helena
08. House Of Wolves
09. I Don't Love You
10. I'm Not Okay (I Promise)
11. Mama
12. Sleep
13. Teenagers
14. The Sharpest Lives
15. This Is How I Disappear
16. Welcome To The Black Parade
17. You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison

they didn't play my favourite (among favourites) song - The Ghost Of You. why?

my pick for this particular show, "Sleep". that one was overwhelming. the one that really made me screamed my lungs out.

it was over in 2hours time. at home by 10.40pm. was hoping we'd bump into them outside stadium. no luck. sigh. I had 1st-timer-post-concert-syndrome (ok I made that term up, so what). I had the urge to "woohoo" out loud every now and then. even right now, as I'm typing this, which is 1-month later. well just for the sake of it... WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!! YEAHHH!!!

Cause I can't feel my face!

wa rasa wa salah bagi pendapat. wa rasa pendapatan wa disalah-erti. wa rasa wa terasa. wa rasa wa elok diam. wa rasa, wa dah tiada perasaan.

...but - know it's too late!

happy new year! 2008 is here. so what is everybody's resolution? I've given up of having one, long time ago. heh. I figured I'd just change or do anything that's need to be done, like, snap! done! doesn't need no new year's resolution of sort. or maybe that IS my 2008 resolution? ;-) abaikan rintangan udara.

been AWOL from blogging for a while. bantal dengan tilam dalam bilik selalu menang. nyeh nyeh. dah lama tak baca buku. 2 unread, 1 1/10-read, 1 new - bought it just now. yep. grabbed it after makan² with abg and kakngah. piza. best.

yang best lagi, sesi makan² jadi sesi luahan hati ke hati. wa ingat, wa je pernah tak bercakap dengan mak sebab dia marah wa (3 minggu beb. 3 hari tak bertegur je Allah dah tak terima amalan kita. pergh!). rupenya abg pon ade episod camtu. heh.

dah besar² ni semua benda dah jadi serius kan. seserius tahi pulak tu. wa terasa sangat tua. baru 23 tahun 6 bulan je rasa nye. tsk.

wa dah start merapek. ngantuk. tido 3 jam je. bagi la wa tido. sat lagi tah benda lagi wa mengarut. esok hari rabu! yay! esok hari keje. Zzz...

Rindu bertandang lagi... kekasih

got this in my email. wa 'hujan' dan² abih baca. seriously.

Orang kata aku lahir dari perut ibu..
Bila dahaga, yang susukan aku.. ibu
Bila lapar, yang suapkan aku..ibu
Bila keseorangan, yang sentiasa di sampingku.. ibu
Kata ibu, perkataan pertama yang aku sebut.. Ma!
Bila bangun tidur, aku cari.. ibu
Bila nangis, orang pertama yang datang ..ibu
Bila nak bermanja.. aku dekati ibu
Bila nak bergesel... aku duduk sebelah ibu
Bila sedih, yang boleh memujukku hanya ibu
Bila nakal, yang memarahi aku ...ibu
Bila merajuk... yang memujukku cuma..ibu
Bila melakukan kesalahan... yang paling cepat marah..ibu
Bila takut... yang tenangkan aku.. ibu
Bila nak peluk... yang aku suka peluk..ibu

Aku selalu teringatkan ..Ibu
Bila sedih, aku mesti talipon... Ibu
Bila seronok... orang pertama aku nak beritahu...Ibu
Bila bengang.. aku suka luah pada ..Ibu
Bila takut, aku selalu panggil.. "ibuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"
Bila sakit, orang paling risau adalah ..Ibu
Bila nak exam, orang paling sibuk juga Ibu
Bila buat hal, yang marah aku dulu..Ibu
Bila ada masalah, yang paling risau.. Ibu
Yang masih peluk dan cium aku sampai hari ni.. Ibu
Yang selalu masak makanan kegemaranku.. Ibu
Yang selalu simpan dan kemaskan barang-barang aku, Ibu
Yang selalu berleter kat aku.. Ibu
Yang selalu puji aku.. Ibu
Yang selalu nasihat aku.. Ibu
Bila nak kahwin..
Orang pertama aku tunjuk dan rujuk... Ibu

Aku ada pasangan hidup sendiri
Bila seronok... aku cari pasanganku
Bila sedih... aku cari Ibu
Bila berjaya... aku ceritakan pada pasanganku
Bila gagal... aku ceritakan pada Ibu
Bila bahagia, aku peluk erat pasanganku
Bila berduka, aku peluk erat Ibuku
Bila nak bercuti... aku bawa pasanganku
Bila sibuk... aku hantar anak ke rumah Ibu
Bila sambut valentine.. Aku hadiahi bunga pada pasanganku
Bila sambut hari ibu...aku cuma dapat ucapkan Selamat Hari Ibu
Selalu ..... aku ingat pasanganku
Selalu... Ibu ingat kat aku
Bila..bila... aku akan talipon pasanganku
Entah bila.. ...aku nak talipon Ibu
Selalu ...aku belikan hadiah untuk pasanganku
Entah bila... aku nak belikan hadiah untuk Ibuku

Renungkan:
"Kalau kau sudah habis belajar dan berkerja... bolehkah kau kirim wang untuk Ibu? Ibu bukan nak banyak... lima puluh ringgit sebulan pun cukuplah". Berderai air mata aku. Hari ini kalau Ibu mahu lima ratus sebulan pun aku mampu. Aku boleh kirimkan. Tapi ANDAI Ibu sudah tiada. Aku tidak berkesempatan lagi.. bukan lima puluh ringgit.. lima puluh sen pun tidak sempat aku kirimkan! Hanya yang termampu Alfatihah, alfatihah,alfatihah.

sob sob sreh!